When we Doubt the Goodness of God (Or just simply when God says No)

As Christians, we usually sing about the goodness of God, we often see the goodness of God in our lives, but some people struggle to expect the goodness of God in their lives. I’m one of those persons.

The Bible tells us the attributes of the God we serve: Triple Holy, Omniscient, Omnipotent, All-Wise, Sovereign over All, Just, Pure, Perfect...etc. Sometimes, I tend to see God just like that. I came to understand the Sovereignty of God with time, and it is a cardinal doctrine that rules my life: My times are in God’s hands. He will fulfill His purpose in me. He knows my getting up and my lying down. Seeing Him that way, gives me a hope that I can’t understand: the hope that everything that happens to me has a purpose.

But I have a little struggle in my relationship with God: I still think God is a God who only likes to say No to the things I pray.

That feeling comes when something approaches as a good thing. I still don’t know if it is for my good or not, but I pray for wisdom about it. A door opens concerning that thing, and I see it as something profitable for my life. But God knows better, so I surrender that desire to Him. So, It fades away.

People definitely is going to say: that, if it was good indeed, God would give it to me. So if I didn’t get it, it was because it wasn’t good for me.

The point is that, it has been happening with almost everything in my life.

I’m scared of asking things to God. I know that looking for things by my own is futile and foolish. But I dare not to pray for God for it. “For what?” I reason, “It is gonna be a No for me, anyways”. I lose all excitement when deadlines come, when applications appear, when a new girl appears in my life, when new things arrive. Why? Because I do believe it is going to be the next “No” coming from God. I don’t expect the goodness of God in my life.

Don’t mix me with some prosperity “gospel” crap now, but I do believe that sometimes, we forget that God is a God who blesses. We forget that God is a God who prosper the way of those who walk in His way. We do forget that God is a God who can open the windows of heaven and fill our barns with goods. We do forget that God is a God who rejoices in blessing His own:

He holds back nothing good from those who walk in the way that is right. (Psalms 84:11c, NLT)

10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! (Malachi 3:10, NLT)

But give great joy to those who came to my defense. Let them continually say, “Great is the Lord, who delights in blessing his servant with peace!” (Psalms 35:27, NLT)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I can fill up pages of the promises of God blessing us all over. His times we don’t get. We are quick to judge and to complain without knowing further than what is in front of our noses.

But why do we still keep believing God is a God who always says “No” to everything we pray for? Guys, this is a great evil we commit against God and against our own profession of faith:

6 And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. (Hebrews 11:6, NLT)

We must believe that He rewards. We must believe that He listens to everything we ask to Him, and He cares for everything we ask Him. We are commanded to pray for everything and in every time. So we can pray about anything we have in our heart. Our Father is like a father who listens to his little daughter telling him about her day at school, about the friends she made, about the boy she likes, about the dress she wants, about the heartbreaks… He is anxious about listening what we have to say, and He always has an answer about it!

When God says No, God is also saying: Exercise your faith now. When God says No, God is also saying: Believe in Me now. When God says No, God is also saying: I’m making you patient like Jesus. When God says No, God is also saying: “Remember I have better things up here with Me. When God says No, God is also saying: I want to give you the best I can give you: Myself.

When I get discouraged when God says no, I’m saying: “I know better than you!” When I get discouraged when God says No, I’m saying: “I want whatever good I can get now, despite what can I get in Heaven”. When I get discouraged when God says No, I’m saying: “I don’t care about patience. I don’t care what you’re doing in my life”.

God knows how bad we want the things we are praying for so hard now. And He knows how our heart yearns for those things. But He actually knows the consequences of having or not having those things. He, as the Good Father He is, knows when to open His hand with grace and when to close it with wisdom, in order to protect us. Now I’m preaching to myself too: Let’s ask. Let’s ask, so we can receive. Let’s look so we can find. Let’s knock, so the door can be opened to us. It is how faith works: is to believe that He is Good enough to bless us with (not the things we want) the things we need.

God is not only Omniscient and Sovereign. He is Loving, Caring, Merciful, Compassionate, and Passionate about Us, His children. These are attributes of Him, who listens to each and every prayer we do, and answers those which align with His will, only for His glory. We won’t believe our faces when He starts moving in our lives the way He knows how to move: accomplishing infinitely more than we might ask or think by His mighty power working in us. All Glory to God. (Eph. 3:20, NLT)