Cheater

Are you a cheater?

This question will blow the socks of every person in a relationship. It’s a hard and delicate one, and can open the doors of hell between you and your partner.

You can make a poll on the streets, and ask people around if they are actual cheaters, and the answers will go from insults toward your person to plains and simples no.Between some non believers, cheating is as bad as killing. A part of society still sees fidelity as a valid and needed virtue in our lives. People condemn adulterers and adulteresses and point their fingers at them the most of the time.

The hard truth is that people tend to look the straw in the others’ eyes and forget their own peck in their eyes. Because I have an answer for the question itself.

Are you a cheater? Yes, you are.

We think that cheating only involves the mutual consent of two parts to get involved in any type of emotional or physical relationship outside another emotional or physical relationship. That’s true. We think that cheating involves to have affairs, to hide messages and calls, and to flirt with the girl next door when your girl is not around. All of those are true.

But cheating is more subtle and quicker than you think. We cheat when we look.

I cannot count the men that has told me that they are faithful to their girls or wives, and I have caught them twisting their necks looking to another woman’s booty. I can’t count the tons of women that crave for Christian Grey or Ryan Goslin, and look offended when you insinuate something about they cheating.

Let’s put it clear, as Jesus spoke about it:

27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’[j] 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt. 5:27-28)

Jesus Christ set the bar as higher as nobody ever could. The Pharisees were far away from this perfection. This is God’s standard. He knew that purity start with our minds, and our minds are fed by what they get through our ears and eyes. If we look with lust, we cheat; because we are looking to probably a woman (or a man, for the ladies) that is not ours. We are indulging into the lies of sexual fantasies, and as we feed those fantasies, we fulfill what James writes in his letter:

14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. (James 1:14-15)

Christians are not strangers to this. You can hear the several stories from men and women, literally fighting against their eyes, their desires and their minds. And they can testify that it is a fight worth fighting for and winning.

A lot of people say that looking is harmless. They say that even their spouses or partners allow them to lurke. But at the end of the day, let’s be clear: ask yourself, if your partner craves another body in his or her mind, what is gonna stop him or her of doing so in the body? One day or another, one thing leads to the other. God knew since the beginning that our minds are the motor of our sin, because “evil comes from the heart”, and because of that, He gives and provides the grace to resists temptations, and when the time comes, He will give us the pleasure of having eyes just for the person He has for us.

So, yes. We all are cheaters. The question is, what are we gonna do about it?