Become A Stronghold in the Misdt of Pain

How can I act in kindness and strength when tragedies come and attack us and those who surrounds us? How do I lead others into looking to God when things go south? How do I become a person who knows how to console and to comfort others? Is there a cure for pain, or a formula that helps us to be not attacked by the emotions? How the men in the Bible reacted to pain, tragedy and loss?

We as men have been taught that we don’t need to be as emotional as women and child. We have been told that we need to be quiet, and just be there. We have been taught that we have to adamant concerning pain and grief, and to not show our emotions to nobody. I was taught that way, and maybe this is why I’m still single.

But it’s all a lie.

It is healthy to be honest with our emotions. They are part of who we are. They define us as human beings. God has created us into His image, and to deny the fact that our emotions are integral part of us, is to deny the fact that God Himself has emotions too, and He planned to make those emotions to be the root of our affection toward Him. So, we need to be honest with ourselves concerning how we feel with everything. Sadly, sin had affected emotions to the point of literally, not trust our own heart (Jer. 17.9).

But emotions are the reaction of the circumstances hitting us. Could be the loss of a parent, a relative getting a life-threatening disease, a hard break-up, a job loss...Could be anything, but we need to cope with them the right way. Some men are so hard as stone, that expressing themselves to others, it’s pretty hard. For some men, silence is the way to cope. For some men, to talk about their emotions is a sign of weakness.

But the Bible tells us the opposite. Let’s go to some examples:

David: David was a man with a hard life. After being a mercenary, he got the kingdom of Israel. David lived a pretty exciting life and he was not a stranger to pain and loss. When he sinned against God with Bathsheba, Nathan the prophet told him that he would lose the child conceived by that union. David wept and fought with God in prayer. He lost appetite, he stopped caring for himself. When he got the news, he fought and cried out. The baby actually died. And David was able to understand the Sovereignty of God.We find other examples with David: when Absalom his son died, when Saul and Jonathan died, when the Amalekite raiders kidnapped his town, etc. David was a man of live emotions. If don’t believe it, read the Psalms. (1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, Book of Psalms)

King Hezekiah: He was one of the few good kings of Israel after the division of the country. One time he found out he was so sick he was going to die.The Bible said that he turned his face to the wall and cried out. He isolated himself. Because of his plea, God granted him 15 more years. (2 Kings 20)

Mordecai: He was a man living in the Babylonian Empire during the Deportation. He had a sweet hot niece called Esther who became queen of the Persian Empire. The king used to have a cheap dude called Haman who hated the Jews. He launched some laws against them, and boy, it was harsh. Mordecai tore down his clothing, put some ashes over his head, and clothed himself into clothes of mourning. He just cracked. He showed his sorrow for his people and himself. After that, he pleaded to the queen for help. She got the sweet spot on the king, and because of that Haman got hanged and Mordecai became a minister in Ahasuerus kingdom. (Esther 4)

Jesus: The ultimate example is our Lord Jesus Christ. When He got into Gethsemane, He got weary. He got scared. He got pressured. He got so heavy hearted that literally sweated blood. Jesus knew what was fear. Jesus knew what was pain. Jesus knew what was sorrow. Jesus knew what was depression. He lived like us, so He could relate with us concerning our sins, concerning our fights, concerning our own pain. All of this, so we can trust Him as our Advocate in Heaven interceding for us. (Matthew 26)

Why am I writing about this anyways? Because in order to be a stronghold to others when tragedies attack, we need to know what emotions feel like, when bad things happen. We need to understand the root of our emotions, and point at them as the cry-out of our heart to God, praying that all this messy crap in this world stop happening (It will, when we get to heaven.) We cry out to God, along with creation, asking Him to redeem all things.

Jesus is our example in how to become the leaders of our loved ones when they grieve. Jesus is our example in how to be kind with those who suffer. Jesus is our example in how to console those who are inconsolable. Paul shows that idea perfectly in Romans 12:15 commanding us to cry with those who cry; to be emphatic with those who are going through hard times. We need to ask God for a heart that listens, a heart that prays and a heart that sustains. How do we get to that? Paul shows it again in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. We can comfort others, because God has comforted us in our moments of pain. We have known pain ourselves, and we can testify that God has covered us in His grace. We are due to cover others with the same grace that God has showed us. That’s our calling!

We can become a better version of ourselves. A real man is real with his emotions. A real man acknowledges the God who gave them to him. A real man deal with the pain, bringing it to the Lord. And a real man testifies to others with kindness and empathy to others about God’s fidelity. That’s how we become strongholds for others. We are gonna need patience. But as men, it’s a step to become the leaders and providers God has called us to be.